I don't know what people think about me when they read this blog, it's not really my business
what people think of me. I only ponder the thought because I wonder if people think I am just
very sensitive and lovey and sweet or God forbid Liberal.
I am kidding of course, the reason I put it out there is because I am comfortable in my own skin.
This is who I am, and I don't really care if you like it or not.
I just try and share how I feel about things and how my recovery and sobriety plays a part.
Coming up on 15 years of sobriety I have learned more about myself and about the world around me
than I ever knew in the previous 32.
The reason I begin with this thought is based solely on the sign of our times living in the "Matrix".
It's here, we are knee deep in it and we don't even know it at all, that is why it's working so well.
There is a huge physical planet that we live on with trees and blue skies and oceans and mountains
and yet we have fallen for the biggest lie in history.......that reality is actually in our phones and in our computers and on the TV. We read horror stories of Antifa and White Supremacists causing chaos and
we are so scared we might decide to buy a gun. But, is this actually happening in our own lives?
Maybe, probably not, but maybe. The divide we think we are seeing in our country today is not
face value, in my experience. I travel the country and I meet a lot of people and whats happening in the Matrix is not the same thing that is happening in reality. It seems as though everyone is fighting each other on every issue, but it's simply not true. It's only happening on your phone or your computer.
When we have 200 people at a concert, they don't split the room at some point and decide to have a melee in the middle of the theater. They all sit and enjoy the music and everyone gets along just fine.
THAT is reality. If it was really as bad as it seems online, cars would pull over on the highway and people would be bare knuckle boxing on the sides of the roads.
Just because people disagree, does not mean they hate each other or it's the end of the world.
Why on Earth would be expect 400 Million people to feel the same way all of the time???
I live with 3 women and let me tell you between the 4 of us, rarely if ever do all people agree on where to fucking eat, let alone how we feel about what clothes to wear.
It's absolutely ridiculous to think that because we are divided politically in this country that it is the end of the world, that is the way it has ALWAYS been! There has never been a time in history where everyone agreed, not even in the precious 1950's. Ask Black people what they think of the 1950's,
it's not the same Mayberry, I promise you.
We live in a society where everyone has the opportunity (me included) to share how they feel 24 hours a day. No filter, just put it all out there and see what happens. BUT, that does not actually happen in the physical world. People are doing just fine. I see the cars moving on the roads, people going to work,
kids going to school. President Trump is the President whether you like him or not, and he can be unlikable at times, I assume everyone would agree, even those that voted for the man.
He's going to work, he's doing his thing and the world keeps spinning around and around.
I am not suggesting that anyone should give up their commitment or give in and surrender their beliefs
at all, stand up for what you feel strongly about. Just remember, there is ALWAYS someone who does not agree with you and they're going to stand up for what they believe is right. That is not what the end of the world looks like, thats what REALITY looks like. Grow up and put on your big boy pants.
Deal with it. People don't agree on everything all the time, period.
BUT, we agree on most things and the MOST important things: We all want to live a peaceful life
where our families are safe and we ant to have opportunities to grow.
EVERYONE can agree on this and many, many more things.
Bottom line here to me is that this amazing dissent that we see is being constantly pushed in our face by the media and by our constant addiction to social media. TURN IT OFF!
Turn that shit off and go outside. Read a book, talk to your neighbor.
Life is about so much more than politics or religion, it's about the time you have with your loved ones
right now. We do not know when this will all end, someone we know is going to drop dead today. It's going to happen, trust me. When they hit the ground, it doesn't mean a good damn shit what politics they sided with, they're gone. Game over.
I am living my life like it may end any time, any day. I don't wanna go out fighting about some
rich dudes, thats bullshit.
Turn the Matrix off. Give yourself and your neighbors a break.
Trust in the process. Get involved. If you believe in something, sign up to help.
Join a political movement or a team in person. Talk to people face to face and ask them what they
want out of life, I guarantee it is exactly what you want.
Do not believe the lie, the lie is dead.
We are ALL the same, stop thinking you're different or special, YOU'RE NOT.
Neither am I, we are just people trying to live and have a little fun and enjoy our families.
The Matrix is a big lie and it's not real.
It's designed to keep us occupied while the real shit is going on out in the real world.
Join the real world.
Agree to disagree, it'll be OK.
Live and let live, thats what we do in our house.
I have been married 3 times people, when a woman says " I don't wanna talk about it now"
Leave her alone! :)
Why be mad at the other political team for making a move, of course they're gonna make a move.
Being mad about that is like being mad that the team your team is playing tried to score........
I am not suggesting you do not be involved in the world and in important decisions in our lifetime,
I am suggesting we turn off the internet and talk face to face and give it all a break.
The world is not ending around you, it's only ending in the matrix......
Peace, Love, Zito
Thursday, September 27, 2018
Friday, September 7, 2018
Do the right thing
I miss the life of a child, although I think I might still be living one.
Of course, having younger children certainly keeps that flame alive as well.
I had an idea of what was right or wrong when I was a kid, it was and is inherent,
as all of us do. My family played a big role in this demonstration for better or for worse,
as did yours. Noon of us are perfect and we pick up bad habits from our parents and
surroundings. Bottom line is: Nurture over Nature. Sure we have natural inclinations but I assume
most of them to be good, not "bad". "Bad" behavior comes from nurture or lack there of.
This is obviously a debate that has been going since the dawn of man, and some may never agree,
but in my experience Nurture always outweighs Nature. Certainly my daughter may be headstrong and
stubborn all on her own, but she can learn to change that behavior. The idea that she cannot change
based on the idea that that is "just who she is" is ridiculous. Obviously, some are sicker than others and sincere mental problems is not something that can be learned away. I am talking about the idea that behavior can change based on nurture over nature. A wild animal is a wild animal, but a stubborn child can learn to be less stubborn over time, we all can. It may take drastic life changing events to get us to change, but it is certainly possible, I am living proof.
My point being, when I was a child I did the "right" thing because I was afraid I would get into trouble if I did the "wrong" thing. Like most of us and most children, I feared the wrath enough to not defy the rules. I did not begin to defy until much later in life. I was a late bloomer when it came to being rebellious. I might have wanted to steal or lie as a child but was certain I would get caught and in big trouble and that was good enough for me not to do it. I may have even slightly understood that stealing did not feel good and I did have a bike stolen from me when I was kid and it made me terribly mad.
But I don't think I really did the right thing for the right reason until later in life. I did the right thing because I was told to do so and that there would be negative consequences if I did the wrong thing.
"Right" and "Wrong" are of course subjective to culture and home life and religion and many other factors, and we can debate forever on "What" is right or wrong, but I believe we know what it is for ourselves, even at a young age. Although we may behave "wrong" for other reasons when we are young, like attention seeking and acting out, but that is probably the same reason anyone would behave badly when they're an adult as well.
Ok, this is getting heady and psychological and I am not a psychiatrist.
My thought is that somewhere along the way as an adult I began to realize that doing the "right" thing, whatever that may be for me, made me feel good. I was no longer doing the right thing because I felt I had to do so or suffer consequences, I was doing so because it's who I wanted to be and the consequences of positive action felt very good. I sincerely began to understand that taking something from someone that was not mine made me feel terrible inside and giving something that was mine to someone else for no other reason than to share my good fortune made me feel alive and connected.
Maybe my late arrival in life to being a productive member of society has allowed me to really appreciate what that means. I assume most "normal" people just grow up and understand these things all by themselves at a younger age in life, but I took the long and winding road because I too was stubborn and hard headed.....hmm, I wonder where my daughter gets that trait? :)
There is a strong and lasting feeling of peace that comes from surrendering to the spiritual principles
in this physical world and just going along for the betterment of the whole. There will always be a time to stand up when life is not going in the right direction, that is standing up for the principles themselves
not rebelliousness. Practicing anonymity to do what is right for the greater good because I am a part of the greater good, rather than doing something that only benefits myself is the peace we each desire.
I am thankful for this new mind and new personality I have acquired.
I am no longer a slave to my character defects, when something gets to difficult to deal with,
I can change. Change is always possible and is always happening, whether we like it or not.
Somethings we were told were okay when we were young are not okay today.
Change stirs fear in those that resist, do not resist change, accept change.
The more we resist, the more it hurts.
Th more we accept, the easier life becomes.
We cannot change anyone but ourselves. We are powerless over everyone else.
But we are not powerless over ourselves. We always have the ability to change.
It just takes willingness. Most often we are not willing to change for fear of the unknown.
Let go, it's the easier, softer way.
Peace, Love...Zito
Of course, having younger children certainly keeps that flame alive as well.
I had an idea of what was right or wrong when I was a kid, it was and is inherent,
as all of us do. My family played a big role in this demonstration for better or for worse,
as did yours. Noon of us are perfect and we pick up bad habits from our parents and
surroundings. Bottom line is: Nurture over Nature. Sure we have natural inclinations but I assume
most of them to be good, not "bad". "Bad" behavior comes from nurture or lack there of.
This is obviously a debate that has been going since the dawn of man, and some may never agree,
but in my experience Nurture always outweighs Nature. Certainly my daughter may be headstrong and
stubborn all on her own, but she can learn to change that behavior. The idea that she cannot change
based on the idea that that is "just who she is" is ridiculous. Obviously, some are sicker than others and sincere mental problems is not something that can be learned away. I am talking about the idea that behavior can change based on nurture over nature. A wild animal is a wild animal, but a stubborn child can learn to be less stubborn over time, we all can. It may take drastic life changing events to get us to change, but it is certainly possible, I am living proof.
My point being, when I was a child I did the "right" thing because I was afraid I would get into trouble if I did the "wrong" thing. Like most of us and most children, I feared the wrath enough to not defy the rules. I did not begin to defy until much later in life. I was a late bloomer when it came to being rebellious. I might have wanted to steal or lie as a child but was certain I would get caught and in big trouble and that was good enough for me not to do it. I may have even slightly understood that stealing did not feel good and I did have a bike stolen from me when I was kid and it made me terribly mad.
But I don't think I really did the right thing for the right reason until later in life. I did the right thing because I was told to do so and that there would be negative consequences if I did the wrong thing.
"Right" and "Wrong" are of course subjective to culture and home life and religion and many other factors, and we can debate forever on "What" is right or wrong, but I believe we know what it is for ourselves, even at a young age. Although we may behave "wrong" for other reasons when we are young, like attention seeking and acting out, but that is probably the same reason anyone would behave badly when they're an adult as well.
Ok, this is getting heady and psychological and I am not a psychiatrist.
My thought is that somewhere along the way as an adult I began to realize that doing the "right" thing, whatever that may be for me, made me feel good. I was no longer doing the right thing because I felt I had to do so or suffer consequences, I was doing so because it's who I wanted to be and the consequences of positive action felt very good. I sincerely began to understand that taking something from someone that was not mine made me feel terrible inside and giving something that was mine to someone else for no other reason than to share my good fortune made me feel alive and connected.
Maybe my late arrival in life to being a productive member of society has allowed me to really appreciate what that means. I assume most "normal" people just grow up and understand these things all by themselves at a younger age in life, but I took the long and winding road because I too was stubborn and hard headed.....hmm, I wonder where my daughter gets that trait? :)
There is a strong and lasting feeling of peace that comes from surrendering to the spiritual principles
in this physical world and just going along for the betterment of the whole. There will always be a time to stand up when life is not going in the right direction, that is standing up for the principles themselves
not rebelliousness. Practicing anonymity to do what is right for the greater good because I am a part of the greater good, rather than doing something that only benefits myself is the peace we each desire.
I am thankful for this new mind and new personality I have acquired.
I am no longer a slave to my character defects, when something gets to difficult to deal with,
I can change. Change is always possible and is always happening, whether we like it or not.
Somethings we were told were okay when we were young are not okay today.
Change stirs fear in those that resist, do not resist change, accept change.
The more we resist, the more it hurts.
Th more we accept, the easier life becomes.
We cannot change anyone but ourselves. We are powerless over everyone else.
But we are not powerless over ourselves. We always have the ability to change.
It just takes willingness. Most often we are not willing to change for fear of the unknown.
Let go, it's the easier, softer way.
Peace, Love...Zito
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