Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Hello fellow crazy people!

Well this is a new blog for me.
I have been writing a blog on the adventures of my band, Royal Southern Brotherhood and it has been a very good experience. People seem to like the stories and whats going on behind the scenes.
I also found out that I am a pretty good writer. Though not in the English correct, punctuality way....

So chances are I will assume you have no idea who I am and why would you? I am just a husband and father of 5 that lives in Texas. I play music for a living, which is a dream come true, and I am in recovery.  My sobriety/clean date is October 28, 2003. My home group is in Nederland, Texas.
I am not writing this blog because I think I am a spiritual guru or because I believe I have special insight into the recovery programs that might save your life :)   I am writing this blog to save mine.
I have always played music and thought for sure once I entered into the recovery lifestyle, that I would never be able to play music again. Not in bars or clubs, maybe in church. But after working the steps and through the love and support of my home group I was able to once again walk into a club and play music without the fear of drinking or using looming over me or obsessing in my mind.
I became spiritually fit and I had a legitimate reason to be there.
With that all said, I have been playing music again professionally for 9 years and touring the world.
My musical career has been more successful than I could ever dream of and it's all thanks to recovery.
I go to meetings every chance I get on the road and always when I am home, but not as many as I would always like to make. I talk to my sponsor and others in the program on a regular basis. I have written many songs that are recovery based to have something positive to sing about, and some about the horrors of addiction and alcoholism to remind me of that pain that I never want to feel again.
In doing so, I have many friends in the program all over the world that I stay in touch with and get to see throughout my travels. My wife is in the program as well, though not an alcoholic/addict, but as a loving, caring woman who happens to be in love with an addict. My point is that my life is built on recovery. Almost everyone in my life is somehow connected to the programs of recovery and still I make mistakes on a daily basis. I just can't seem to get it right, but I know, progress before perfection.
Yes, I know all the little sayings, slogans, I can quote all the books and I do know the spiritual principles as well......now do I apply them all to my daily life, well, thats another story.
In fact, that will be the basis of this blog.
I don't get much time to sponsor anyone these days, so I really have to make an effort to read the books on my own and get into a spiritual mindset for the day ahead.
Thats why I thought I would write a new blog, to get some of this shit out of my head and get on track.
Sometimes I just forget to read my book and pray before I hit the road and I end up dealing with some crazy ass, obsessive shit and I can't figure out whats wrong......until I go to a meeting and remember that I am crazy! Thats the problem, it's been the problem all along. I just forget. Thats my disease.
I am crazy and my mental illness tries to convince me I am not crazy.
Luckily in the past 9 years or so, I have not once picked up or used or taken a drink of anything and for that I am grateful. I also thought it might be interesting to others to hear about the life of a traveling musician in recovery. The crazy people I run into and sometimes wacky situations and how I handle it,
not always as spiritual as I wished, but most often I do ok. But the bottom line of this blog is to help me get out of my head and share my experience, strength and hope.
I'll try and write this a couple of times a week or when I need to get some shit out.
I'll try and make it as entertaining as possible without just making stuff up to be funny.
So- here's to a new blog and a life long journey in recovery which is wayyy better than sleeping outside, hooked on drugs with no family or food or shelter. I need to remind myself of that sometimes....
Peace, Love, Zito