Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Defense.....

The more I play offense these days and the less I play defense, the happier I am by 100%.

This is absolutely true. It has been a work in progress for years but it is paying off big time
and I am thankful for the peace of mind it brings.

I am like everyone else on this planet, we are all exactly the same people with the same needs.
It doesn't matter if you think kneeling for the Anthem is wrong or you think President Trump is
so horrible......you are the same person. Get over yourself. No one is better or worse, no one is the "good guy" or the "bad guy". We are just "guy" or "gal" to be correct :)
Anywho, I am like everyone else. I want peace and quiet, time with my family and security.
I want to live and let live.  But I get "offended" by people and what they say or believe some times
and it gets me very upset and I want to argue my point of view with them......just like you do.
I have taken an initiative this year to work on myself getting offended.
I have come to the conclusion that the person who gets offended has the problem.

I will repeat this for myself : The person who gets offended has the problem.

So, I have decided that I will no longer get offended. It is not easy and it takes practice, but over the course of this year I can say with some truth that it is beginning to work nicely.

First of all I start by making sure that I don't have the need to explain myself anymore.
It's the hardest part of all, but the less I feel the need to explain myself to another person about how I feel about something, the less offended and defensive I get.
The biggest choice in this matter is the decision to "Not Draw a Line in the Sand".
Thats the ticket right there, I will not pick a side.
I am going with the "Human Being" experience.
If someone comes to me and wants me to agree with them about their view on a cultural or political subject, I do not agree with them. I also do not DISAGREE wth them. I just use the good ole catch phrase of Al-Anon "I understand how you feel."
This is the ticket right here - it's me washing away my need to explain myself and offering to try and understand how the rest of humanity might feel. Whats it like to be in this persons shoes?
I am only me, I only have my experiences. I know what I believe to be "right or wrong" for me,
but I really don't know if it is right or wrong for anyone else. Obviously there are certain truths that I have to assume as a society we will all work with "Don't kill" "Don't Rape" "Don't Steal" and so on.
But as far as how I see a cultural snafu or a political belief is mostly based on my experiences and there is a good chance that I do not know it all. I might not know everything.
So I just listen and learn and most importantly I do not argue with anyone, not anymore.

Some would say not picking a side is a lack of integrity, but I absolutely disagree.
I pick a side, I am just not telling you or anyone else.
I don't have to tell anyone how I feel about anything.
It's not important. It doesn't matter who I vote for or how I feel about anything.
What matters most is the 99% of life I share in common with my fellow man, not the 1% I disagree with. Don't let social media or the news fool you folks - if you disagree with someone over kneeling for the National Anthem, you still share 99% of everything else in life with that person.
Don't let the details keep you from living a life full of joy from all of the human beings around you.
We are exactly the same.

Those of you who call people "Libtards" are exactly the same people who call people "Trumptards".
You have more in common with each other than anyone else I know.
Politics is bullshit.

Why make a choice on a certain ideology and decide thats it, this is how I believe.....
so now anything that falls into this category, I believe this way, details do not matter.
Thats just dumb and lazy.

Bottom line here is being selfish, thats what this is all about.
It's about me being selfish and so are you, we are all selfish beings that want the same thing.
So, in the spirit of being selfish, I do my best to not get offended by anyone or anything they say or believe. I just let it roll by me like a plastic bag floating in the wind......
Not giving a fuck is the most selfish feeling in the world.
I try my best to see where they're coming from - and let me tell you, I can always understand both sides. You can too, you may not want to, but you certainly could and would be happier for it, trust me.  I do not share my belief on the subject and I do not explain myself.

As a result of not being offended, I do not get defensive. I play the offense as much as possible.

I am not drawing a line in the sand anymore. I am working on a case by case basis.
I am not making up my mind immediately, I reserve the right to be considerate and think about things.
I will give everyone the benefit of the doubt, because we are all human and deserve respect.

In the end, I just don't care enough about most of these arguments to really give away all of my energy. I need to use my energy to take care of my family and give back to those who so generously
have given to me. When it comes to right or wrong, it's all about the spiritual principles.
Is my belief in an ideology blocking my belief in the spiritual principles?
If my ideological beliefs are keeping me from loving my fellow man, then they are not spiritually correct.

It is more wrong spiritually to hate a person because they believe different than I do,
than the difference we share in belief.

My mind is made up about one thing, I will do my best to not be offended.
Other than that, my mind is open and trying it's best to understand where everyone is coming from.
It's not that hard.

Peace, Love, Zito