Monday, July 23, 2018

Devotion

Devotion sounds religious, biblical even.
It is in one respect, devotion to a religious way of life, or can even refer to prayers.
I first heard the word when I was in Catholic school. (which I attended for 13 years, thank you )
I think we had to read these daily devotional prayer books.
It is a word with power and strength. It means giving all of yourself, but I always assumed that
this was giving all of yourself to the religion, I am not sure I understood how it applied beyond the church. Mostly because that is probably the only place I had ever heard the word in frequency.

I think a lot about my upbringing in the Catholic Church and with fond memories.
I did not have any bad experiences going to Catholic school. I did not understand the religion itself until much later in life as an adult, but all in all I had a good time. I do believe I was fortunate to get a very good education and an understanding of right and wrong that has stayed with me most of my life.
Yes I have enjoyed the "Catholic Guilt" over the years but I am pretty much over that now :)

Although I am not a practicing Catholic today, I have my own belief and experiences in a truly Higher Power and I am very pleased with my spiritual relationship. As I get older, I begin to see the religious teachings I was taught when I was young, come to life in experiences. It starts to make more sense.
Maybe I am just a slow learner or I am truly a "Missourian" (Missouri is the Show Me State)
When I was younger I think I was too caught up in the cloud of religious framework and not the actual intended spiritual principles.

This all brings me to this idea of devotion.
Devotion sounds religious, painful, mind-numbing and not fun......like having to say 1000 rosaries
as a punishment.
That is probably what I thought it meant when I was young and I certainly had no interest in being "Devoted" to anything....ugh.
The word reminded me of Priests and Nuns. They were devoted, and it didn't look all that fun to me.
It looked painful and frustrating, like they had to do it but they didn't really want to do it.
Not that all the Priests and Nuns I had over the years were all angry and coarse, I had plenty of really fun teachers that were ordained and seemed very content.
I just mean the general thought of this word "Devoted".....sounded painful.

It would be painful, if you were forced to put everything aside and put all of your energy toward
something you did not love, did not care for or believe in, it would be suffering.
But that is not devotion.
That is slavery. That is a required sentence by law.

Devotion is not painful, it is joyful. Devotion is radiant and full of love.
I understand that today. When I was young, I was so self-centered and full of ego that I could not comprehend this joyous love. Giving all of myself to someone or something sounded awful.
The older I got, the more responsibilities I was given and I shirked them. They were taking time away from me, my time to be self-centered. Drug and Alcohol abuse is the pinnacle of ego and mental illness.
I cannot be bothered by these other people on this planet, therefore I must excuse myself into my own tomb of thoughtlessness and feel sorry for myself..........good times.

I am learning the joy of devotion today.
The need for "Wanting" is being replaced with the joy of "Not-Needing" which brings about sheer happiness for what I already have, and it is so much more than I could ever deserve.
Devotion is a journey, an adventure really.
To be fully committed to a single-purpose is profound.
It starts with commitment, but the spiritual life is never ending, there is no limit to spirituality.
Once I realize the commitment to be ongoing and never ending and I feel the joy of this realization....
that is Devotion. It is not forced like slavery or painful, it is a gift.

I feel this in my life today. I feel this in my marriage and my family. I feel this in my music today.
Most important, I feel it in my recovery, my spiritual life.

My path is narrow. I have a short list of things to do today and they consume all of my time,
all of my energy and I could not be happier.
Devotion brings about real success.
Constancy is a quality that is righteous in this world,
something I strive for everyday.

Peace, Love, Zito