Well, it's been said that difficult people are a blessing in our lives.
I've read that in literature and in Buddhism books.
When we have adverse situations or people around we have to look at them
as an opportunity to grow spiritually.
We never seem to learn much when things are going well and we don't have
any real problems. Those are the times when we enjoy the peace and the pink cloud.
But nothing lasts forever and somewhere around the proverbial corner is a HUGE
pain in the ass just waiting to teach us a lesson or two :)
If we are trying to live by spiritual principles and get better everyday, we have to look
at our own behavior when dealing with difficult people/situations.
What is it about this person that is rubbing me the wrong way?
They are self centered, selfish, egotistical, obnoxious, mean, clueless.......
wow, those are all the things I used to be and some I still am.
In fact, this person is what I am hoping to not be like at all.
They're reminding me of my own character defects and I do not like that one bit.
You spot it if you got it, and I believe that to a tee.
When someone's personality is just plain killing me I realize I have some more work to do.
When I cannot forgive them for being human, I probably need to learn to forgive myself.
When a painful situation arises, it's time to start praying and meditating and find the peace within.
The difference between today and my past is my reaction.
In the past I would never consider praying as an alternative to hating someone.
I would never think I need to meditate on this situation for a while before I make a judgment....
are you kidding me????
I'd just jump right in and stir the shit pot with them, probably even harder just to prove
I'm a bigger pain in the ass than they are!
When a situation or person would come along and make things all real and uncomfortable
I would immediately get to drinking and using to deal with it, and when that turned into a full
blown bender, I'd blame them for my misfortunate decisions.
Even if I am past using, I would still argue and fight and yell and say and do things I would regret.
I would cause more trouble for myself than the original person or situation posed at all.
So, if I am trying to live by spiritual principles today, I have to hold off on my feelings
and breathe and process it all before I make a move.
Sometimes, I misread the situation. Sometimes, the person isn't really doing anything wrong,
I just can't stand their personality. Sad but true.
So, I go to another person I know and trust and run my feelings by them and see if they are justified.
Am I feeling this correctly, or am I letting my ego get involved here?
This is all new to me and my way of living. Thinking about what I'm thinking about is a totally
new concept for me when I arrive in recovery. It takes years to develop this skill and train myself
to work in such a new found way.
But, I can promise you that it is a huge payoff for the world around me and especially ME!
Since I am self centered at my core, it appeals to my inner sanctum that this training and process will help me the most! I will greatly benefit from learning to deal with life and people in this manner.
Eventually I begin to see the "opportunity" in difficult people and adverse situations.
Like "Wow this guy is an asshole.......I'm gonna learn a LOT from him!"
It's life on life's terms and it's just the way it is.....
I can fight for the rest of my life or I can surrender and make the most of it all.
I am so fortunate today, without all of my using and drinking, most of the adversity in my life
has been removed. I still deal with life like anyone else and I have people that seem to make their
way in and stir up old feelings of resentments or new people that I have to learn to deal with
on a whole new level, but for the most part my life is pretty damn easy.
Mostly due to the fact that I have learned to apply the spiritual principles to everyday living.
I do not react today, at least not externally :)
I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.
I immediately know to do the right thing and I know what the right thing is to do,
and if I am just not quite sure of my choice I have numerous friends I can call and
do some fact checking for me. Like all successful people ie: Presidents, CEO's, General's -
I have people I trust to help me make the tough decisions.
I enjoy the peaceful life today and I seek it in every turn possible.
When adversity comes along, I meet it head on and deal with it right away.
The sooner the better, because nothing lasts forever and this too shall pass.....
so let's get to passing please :)
Peace, Love, Zito