Monday, February 1, 2016

Transitional blues........

Well, here we go again.

It seems as though I am always in "Transitional" mode.
That is just the norm now and probably has been for most of my life but I was of course,
unaware. I have spent some time now in "Awareness" and for the most part it has been
a blessing, but sometimes it is difficult to deal with. Mostly due to others that are not walking
the same path. I don't always relate to those around me, and that is ok today.
Things are ever changing in this world and I have come to learn from and love the change.
I just go with the flow so-to-speak.
Just when I think I have made my mind up about how life will be, how things will go,
it all changes. Mostly the change is normal, it's my assuming I know how life is going to go,
that is the crazy part. I have no idea whats coming next, or what life will be like later today,
let alone for a set period of time.
But more and more I am released of the anxiety from expectations and I just let it all happen.
I realize now that nothing is set in stone, nothing is the way it is and it's going to change or go a direction I did not anticipate.  That is the only constant I can count on, change.
The more I can be free of rules and regulations for my life and the lives around me, I can easily
maneuver my way through the twisting turns of life up ahead.
It's really all about being flexible.
I always look forward to playing music. I am excited to sing and play my guitar.
I never want it to end and it's just pure joy.
I would envision what the show will be like and how I would play certain things a certain way,
and slowly it becomes a very controlled situation. So, when things begin to not stay true to form,
I began to not have fun. If I was tired or weary, I might forget the words to a song, or play a "wrong" chord. I would begin to become frustrated and irritable. I would push back harder and force my will upon the musical situation and things got stiffer and more uncomfortable, and eventually I have to
stop, breathe and start over or throw a huge tantrum, the latter of which I haven't done in quite some time, so yay for me!  But, the more I try and pray or meditate before I hit the stage, the more I would walk onto the stage very open minded and loose. I could become the vehicle for which the Universe
wants to use me. Maybe these chords are not "wrong" maybe it's just me and my need for things to be "Perfect". Nothing is perfect, thats true perfection. The Universe is filled with beautiful imperfection.
If I could come to enjoy the imperfection as perfection, I could become the source for more beauty to flow through me. Sounds all fluffy and weird, but it's true as true can be.
If I stop thinking about what I am playing and just play and be loose, amazing things begin to happen. I am used in a way that is beyond my ability, and the spirit moves from me to you if you're open as well.  This is what "Music" is all about. That is what "Life" is all about.
Life free of worry and concern, trusting the power of the Universe to take care of everything, that is Faith. Everything works out, it always does, just not the way I always think it should.  If I can keep my mind on giving instead of taking, I will never be let down, never uncomfortable.  I will always be at peace.  Today I will take time to pray and meditate. Today I will trust in the Power of Love and the Power of the Universe. Today, everything will be fine if I allow change to work through me.