Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Defense.....

The more I play offense these days and the less I play defense, the happier I am by 100%.

This is absolutely true. It has been a work in progress for years but it is paying off big time
and I am thankful for the peace of mind it brings.

I am like everyone else on this planet, we are all exactly the same people with the same needs.
It doesn't matter if you think kneeling for the Anthem is wrong or you think President Trump is
so horrible......you are the same person. Get over yourself. No one is better or worse, no one is the "good guy" or the "bad guy". We are just "guy" or "gal" to be correct :)
Anywho, I am like everyone else. I want peace and quiet, time with my family and security.
I want to live and let live.  But I get "offended" by people and what they say or believe some times
and it gets me very upset and I want to argue my point of view with them......just like you do.
I have taken an initiative this year to work on myself getting offended.
I have come to the conclusion that the person who gets offended has the problem.

I will repeat this for myself : The person who gets offended has the problem.

So, I have decided that I will no longer get offended. It is not easy and it takes practice, but over the course of this year I can say with some truth that it is beginning to work nicely.

First of all I start by making sure that I don't have the need to explain myself anymore.
It's the hardest part of all, but the less I feel the need to explain myself to another person about how I feel about something, the less offended and defensive I get.
The biggest choice in this matter is the decision to "Not Draw a Line in the Sand".
Thats the ticket right there, I will not pick a side.
I am going with the "Human Being" experience.
If someone comes to me and wants me to agree with them about their view on a cultural or political subject, I do not agree with them. I also do not DISAGREE wth them. I just use the good ole catch phrase of Al-Anon "I understand how you feel."
This is the ticket right here - it's me washing away my need to explain myself and offering to try and understand how the rest of humanity might feel. Whats it like to be in this persons shoes?
I am only me, I only have my experiences. I know what I believe to be "right or wrong" for me,
but I really don't know if it is right or wrong for anyone else. Obviously there are certain truths that I have to assume as a society we will all work with "Don't kill" "Don't Rape" "Don't Steal" and so on.
But as far as how I see a cultural snafu or a political belief is mostly based on my experiences and there is a good chance that I do not know it all. I might not know everything.
So I just listen and learn and most importantly I do not argue with anyone, not anymore.

Some would say not picking a side is a lack of integrity, but I absolutely disagree.
I pick a side, I am just not telling you or anyone else.
I don't have to tell anyone how I feel about anything.
It's not important. It doesn't matter who I vote for or how I feel about anything.
What matters most is the 99% of life I share in common with my fellow man, not the 1% I disagree with. Don't let social media or the news fool you folks - if you disagree with someone over kneeling for the National Anthem, you still share 99% of everything else in life with that person.
Don't let the details keep you from living a life full of joy from all of the human beings around you.
We are exactly the same.

Those of you who call people "Libtards" are exactly the same people who call people "Trumptards".
You have more in common with each other than anyone else I know.
Politics is bullshit.

Why make a choice on a certain ideology and decide thats it, this is how I believe.....
so now anything that falls into this category, I believe this way, details do not matter.
Thats just dumb and lazy.

Bottom line here is being selfish, thats what this is all about.
It's about me being selfish and so are you, we are all selfish beings that want the same thing.
So, in the spirit of being selfish, I do my best to not get offended by anyone or anything they say or believe. I just let it roll by me like a plastic bag floating in the wind......
Not giving a fuck is the most selfish feeling in the world.
I try my best to see where they're coming from - and let me tell you, I can always understand both sides. You can too, you may not want to, but you certainly could and would be happier for it, trust me.  I do not share my belief on the subject and I do not explain myself.

As a result of not being offended, I do not get defensive. I play the offense as much as possible.

I am not drawing a line in the sand anymore. I am working on a case by case basis.
I am not making up my mind immediately, I reserve the right to be considerate and think about things.
I will give everyone the benefit of the doubt, because we are all human and deserve respect.

In the end, I just don't care enough about most of these arguments to really give away all of my energy. I need to use my energy to take care of my family and give back to those who so generously
have given to me. When it comes to right or wrong, it's all about the spiritual principles.
Is my belief in an ideology blocking my belief in the spiritual principles?
If my ideological beliefs are keeping me from loving my fellow man, then they are not spiritually correct.

It is more wrong spiritually to hate a person because they believe different than I do,
than the difference we share in belief.

My mind is made up about one thing, I will do my best to not be offended.
Other than that, my mind is open and trying it's best to understand where everyone is coming from.
It's not that hard.

Peace, Love, Zito




Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Sadness

I just got home from a very nice 3 week tour of Scandinavia with the band.
We had excellent shows, and the audiences were strong and loud.
It's always hard to be away from home, and it certainly doesn't get easier over time.
But all in all, I do my best. I take time to pray every morning, stretch, and meditate.
That always seems to help get me focused and feeling positive.
I stay in close touch with my family and work on the music and my guitar playing.
I follow Facebook and the news and social media and try keep things positive.
For a moment in time everyone was very angry about some football players who took a knee
and that was the big conversation. It gets ugly and I try my best to stay out of the ugliness.
I have a horrible disease called "Understanding" and it's effect on others is astounding.
I seem to be able to see both sides of the story and do my best to "understand" where everyone is coming from. I am a true believer that neither side is the "Bad" guy. It's just misunderstanding and closed mindedness that keep people separated and at odds.

Anyway, for the most part the "kneeling" argument was the topic for a few days there until Las Vegas made the news.
Terry and I were in the lobby in the early morning which was right around the time of the shooting. (We were 9 hours ahead of PST) We both mentioned seeing something about a shooter at a concert
in Las Vegas and it said there was 2 confirmed deaths and we shared regrets about hearing this news.
We then headed out on flights and traveling. As I checked the news throughout the morning.....the death toll kept rising. When we landed in the afternoon in Denmark the headline read "Worst US Mass Shooting Ever" with over 50 people dead........whoa. I was awe struck and overcome with sadness. The band and I spoke of it and read the news and tried to get as many details as we could.
It was on my mind all day. I could not imagine the horror and terror these beautiful people felt and it made me very angry and very, very sad.  It stayed with me all day and after our show that night we heard of the news of Tommy Petty's passing as well.
It was a very sad day.

I awoke the next morning and was feeling good and saw the sun shining and smiled and then it hit me.....the "massacre in Las Vegas" and I immediately was reminded of the tragedy.
It did not sit well with me and it hurt deeply. I  was sad most of the day.

I am fully aware today that it is ok and good to grieve and be sad, in fact it is necessary.
It would be inhumane to not feel this loss in my heart. Other human beings were killed for no reason.
I should feel the pain when others are suffering. We are all connected, we are one.
Of course my next thought was how many deaths happen everyday in other parts of the world that I may not be made aware of? The answer is: A Lot.
It should hurt inside when other human beings are killed, abused, and treated poorly.
Because we are the same, no matter where we come from, the color of our skin, the language that we speak, our sexual preference......thats all details, bottom line is we are all human beings and we are connected as a species.

I prayed for the next week for the families that lost loved ones and I prayed for the family of the shooter as well. They sincerely seemed shell shocked and I am certain they feel ashamed and somehow guilty, even though they are not.  Everyone loses in this situation.
Praying is the only thing that helped me to feel better and as the days went on I began to feel happy again and sincerely excited for life, hopeful.  Stories of all the helpers and heroes began to surface and it was inspiring.

I have no answers on how to change the world or stop these things from happening, I am just a simple man with a simple mind.
I do know that this man that killed those 58 beautiful people was mentally ill.
No one in their "right mind" would do such a thing, it's not normal.

Some have spoken of a lack of morality in our country as a reason to explain such horrible behavior, but I cannot see this as a truth.  Morality has nothing to do with metal illness.
I know first hand.
When the mind is sick, it is not functioning properly. This horrible act was the work of a "Crazy" person, pure and simple.

As far as regulating gun laws, it seems very simple to me and with common sense.
Mentally ill people should not be able to purchase guns.
Now, how does this work? I HAVE NO IDEA.
Seems there can be some simple gun control that does not affect lawful gun owners and helps to deter
the mentally ill from getting their hands on this machinery.
NOW - thats all I have to say about that.

The bottom line is when we are looking at these events and specifically looking for blame,
we might be missing a chance to do what we are supposed to do - grieve. Be sad.
This is a sad event and it requires a human response of sadness.
When we do not respond in sadness, I think it makes us less human and we become more tolerable of future events.

The world isn't going to hell. In fact it's safer now than ever before.
Thats a hard pill to swallow, but it is the truth. The numbers don't lie.

Just be sad. Cry and let it hurt and have sympathy and empathy.
Hug your loved ones tighter and longer and pray, or just be still and quiet.
If we can all grieve as a people and then take some deep breathes and start to figure somethings out,
we might be able to work together and that is where the healing begins.

I am ok with being sad today.
It is a part of human life on planet Earth.
Life is painful at best.
We are all exactly the same people, none of us are different.
Don't let the news or social media or politics divide you from the rest of us.
We are all connected and one, we are human beings.
Everyone counts, no one is better than or less than, we are all equal to.

Today I will love like there is no tomorrow.

Peace, Love, Zito