Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Absurdly Lucky

Yes, I am truly grateful.
I really don't have anything to complain about and my life just keeps getting better.
It's been a special time for me recently as I am celebrating a milestone in my recovery.
I am so thankful to all of my friends for all of the love and support.
Everywhere I go, I have friends there waiting for me.
They bake me cookies (I'm getting FAT!!!), they take me dinner, they bring their children to the shows,
and most of all, they come to see me and spend time with me and I am so blessed.
RSB just finished a week at sea on the Blues Cruise.
It was such a good time. I am a fan of the performers and the musicians and it's so fun for me
to hangout with the people I admire and love. Best of all, my oldest son Zach was able to come
with me this year on the cruise. He is 18 and a freshmen in college.
He is a tremendous guitar player and is very much into the blues. I don't get to see Zach everyday as he
goes to school and lives in another state, so it's a big deal to just get a week with him, let alone
being on the cruise together. We had such an amazing time. We obviously enjoyed playing the shows
with RSB, but also going to all of the jams and getting up together and playing.
Zach also took the stage over at one point without me and played with Cyril Neville,
Tommy Castro, Sam Fish and Albert Castiglia. It was a very proud moment for me.
There was a time when I couldn't really see Zach. I was so bad off in my addiction, I couldn't
ever keep my commitments to pick him up and spend time with him, I wanted to,
but I couldn't stop using.  It ended with me not being able to really see Zach at all
and he was old enough to know something was wrong. I know he was very hurt by my addiction.
Luckily for me and my family, I found the programs of recovery and my life
has been changed forever. I look back at this short period of time I have invested in recovery
and how much my life has changed and how just a few years later I am with my son on the Blues Cruise playing music together and being so close - it's truly a miracle.
Recovery is available to anyone. I am not special or unique, I have just followed the rules.
For the first time in my life, I followed the rules.
I do believe this new lease on life is a miracle, but I never want it to seem to those who are constantly
struggling that they are not miracle worthy, or that God loves me more.
That's not true. Recovery is available to us all. I heard it said recently from a good friend that we
are "absurdly lucky". The odds are against me and yet I have beaten the odds.
By no means of rational mathematics should I be alive today. I should be dead.
I cannot explain to you how I am alive, other than an other worldly intervention.
When I see others struggling along the way, fighting the awful fight of addiction, I feel for them.
It is a pitiful existence and I have so much empathy. That could so easily be me, and was me.
But thank God it's not me today, and for that I am truly grateful.
I believe when we decide in our hearts that we have had enough and want to change, God will
line everything up to help us break the cycle. Surrender is all we need to make a change.
So, looking back at the misery and strife I caused myself and my family and seeing the
Sunlight of Spirit all around me today, in everything I do - I believe I am Absurdly Lucky.
I thank God for my life and those who share it with me, that means you too!
To spend time with my children and see a beautiful relationship rather than disconnect and hurt,
is a miracle.  I call them on the phone, I take them on vacations, I make them breakfast, tuck
them in their beds.....might seem normal and usual to most of you, but to me it is a miracle.
So I will continue to trudge the road of happy destiny. It's all that I have and all that I need.
And I thank God for my clean and sober life.
Peace, Love, Zito