Sunday, March 16, 2014

Narrow

Everything is moving so fast......or so it seems.
Maybe I am just slowing down, taking my time.
I assume I am getting older, and with maturity comes pace.
I am surrounded by fast, ineffectual movements that seem so fleeting,
with little to no purpose but to get to the next......

That is a broad statement.
It seems to me that everything I do should count in someway.
Not with great expectations, but with purpose.
To truly be considerate and mindful, I should take steps in the right direction
no matter what I am doing or saying.....of course I fall very short.
Buddhism teaches me that I should not speak unless I have useful words to say,
but I constantly open my mouth and rabble on about nothing good.
Point taken.

Not everyone is on the same page.
This knowledge is still new to me. I am hopelessly hopeful, childlike in this way.
I still believe in my heart that we are all doing the right things for the right reasons.
We're in this together and we want to succeed in a way that is beyond our ego.
Shortly followed by a huge slap in the face......
Not everyone is on the same page.
I am trying to accept this for the truth.  Mostly because I allow people to let me down.
Again, not out of expectations, but out of this childish belief that "we're all in this together".
No, we are not all in this together. Maybe in the biggest picture idea we are all in this together,
but not on a very personal level. I get frustrated with life and those around me, wondering why
they just don't get it. Why are we doing the same things but for different reasons?
It seems to me that the purpose is the key to it all.
And it is.
But we all have such different ideas of purpose and belief.
Live and let live.
That being said, I don't stop searching for the truth or for like minded people.
In fact, I search harder. I use this acceptance as fuel to strengthen my belief.
I am in constant search for other human beings that are walking this very narrow
path that I am on. It is not a path to fame or fortune, nor a path of misguided, intellectual
spiritualism for elitists......it's just my very narrow path to the truth.
Of course I ask questions, I doubt, but I continue to walk.
I am uncertain and veer off at times, but never stray.
It gets more narrow the further I walk. I look for others and there are less and less.
From what I read, what I am told and what I have learned.......
in the end it's only me and my maker.
We walk this path together. This is the only way to relieve the pain of living.
True Awareness eliminates the suffering of life.

Most of this is music based for me.  Music is life and means everything to my soul.
Music done in haste or without consideration or real purpose does not transcend.
Every note should count. Every note should resonate and be whole. (pun intended)
Every note should resound with consideration and with masterfulness to any level.
Passion for ego's sake is mere bullshit. It is for children and childish.
Every note should contain love.
It should have that "I'm going for it and I am trying my best and I promise to try harder the next time"
feel. It should never be good enough.
I am not saying that music and life should not be fun.
Music and life should be complete enjoyment.
But when music is your job, your path, your passion.......
It should be PASSIONATE!
True passion. From the soul. Begging for forgiveness to a KING that this note is not worthy....
but I give you everything I've got in this one note.... and I will give you more.
Assertive, not aggressive.
Love is not aggressive.
Life is like music, music is like life.
Every breathe should count.

There are many on this path with me.  We know each other.
It is unspoken. We do not have to argue or discuss, it's understood.
We lift each other up.
You remind me to slow it down. Don't be in a hurry. Take your time.
I will remind myself that we are not all on the same page, and thats ok.
It is a very narrow path with no end in sight.....I am lucky to be alive to walk it.

Peace, Love Zito