Happy Holidaze

It's Christmas Eve morning and all through the house,
I hear fighting over video games and see cookie crumbs everywhere!

Ok - my try at being cute.

All of my kids are home for Christmas, it doesn't get much better than that.
We have lots of personalities to deal with and lots of fun to be had.
I am truly thankful for this life of mine, it's quite remarkable.
13 years ago I celebrated the Christmas season on the streets and running away.
14 years ago I stole a $5 bill from a friends wallet and ate Chinese Buffet by myself.
It wasn't enough to pay for the food, but the fine folks at that restaurant felt sorry enough for me,
they fed me and let me stay as long as I needed. I was so sad that day: no kids, no family, all alone
and it was freezing outside......but looking back I was blessed to be able to eat, and lucky those
people had a heart.
Many folks will pat me on the back for my current success in life.
They say it's the American Dream. They tell me things like "Mike you've earned it"
"You worked hard and got your life back."
I am always thankful for a good pat on the back and some "At-a-boys".......
But truth be told, I had very little to do with this current state of affairs.
I have had so much help in my life, it's crazy.
Even when I was down and out, God had a hand in making sure I didn't die,
there was always someone there to bail me out and keep me alive.
It has been no different in recovery.
My wife showed up at the absolute right time to save me.
The program was there and the door was open with a room of people just waiting for me
to walk in and ask for help. People took me in, accepted me and my flaws and troubles.
They supported me when I had nothing at all.
They saw something in me I never saw in myself.
They took me to meetings, helped me get jobs, fed me, clothed me, and supported my decision
to be clean and sober.
Slowly over a period of time, things got better.
I am finally able to begin to give back in my life.
These people have invested more than a decade in me and they are finally beginning to see
their return.

I get very grateful this time of year. even when these kids are driving me crazy,
I remember when I couldn't see them at all.
Today they're all here, screaming and arguing and laughing and having fun and fighting
and singing too loud and leaving food EVERYWHERE!
I love it. I am the luckiest man alive.

Today I salute the real hero's in my life.
You know who you are. My wife, my children, my in-laws, my sister and brother,
my sponsor, my home group, my ex-wives, my best friends, my manger.
Thank you for taking me in and giving me hope.
You've done all the hard work, I just showed up.
You deserve everything I can do for you, I hope to do more.
Today my life is about giving back and I am so thankful I am alive and able to do so.

These are the people that deserve a pat on the back, a big present, and a big ole' "AT A BOY"!

Finally I want to thank God.
Whoever you are, wherever you are......you have always been there for me.
When I was ready, every door opened wide.
Somethings haven't made sense, but I don't need to know everything.
I trust you with my life and I am thankful for your will.

Today I no longer celebrate the Holidaze - I celebrate life.
I am home, not on the streets, not drunk or hungover, and I am doing my best.
thank God.

Now if I can just figure out how to win at Halo.......I SUCK!

Merry Christmas People :)

The sad awful truth

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/scott-weiland-s-family-dont-glorify-this-tragedy-20151207?page=2



The death of rock singer Scott Weiland was yet another tragedy not averted.
I just read the article in Rolling Stone written by the Scott's Ex-Wife and mother
of his two children. It is heartbreaking and real and the downright truth.
I urge you to read this article.
I could not agree more with this woman and I feel so very sad for her and her family.
It is certainly not "Rock n Roll" to throw away a family for good and kill yourself
on the dark side of life. I do not believe that, not anymore.
When I was young, all of my hero's were drug addicts and alcoholics and most of them
had died from the stuff. I thought it was cool and romantic to let it all go behind a bottle
or some pills, but I absolutely do not believe that is cool anymore.
It is sad and awful and hurts so many others in life.
The honest truth is, being an addict or an alcoholic is the most selfish and self-centered,
egotistical way to live your life.
You care nothing of those around you, only of yourself and your next fix or drink.
It is a disease... cunning, baffling and powerful and to turn it all around and make the change
necessary you have to take responsibility for your actions and be willing to change.
Change everything.

Unfortunately, I have seen many people go out this way in recovery.
They just don't make it to the other side.
Families are left behind - mad, confused and heartbroken.

But I have also seen people change. They have given up the drink and drug game for good
and learned a new way of life. They got their families back and made a difference in their
communities.
It works if you work it.

Take a second to read this article and say a prayer for Scott Weiland's family.
These kids lost their father and will forever have to live with that cloud of bullshit.
Do not glorify his death or condone it to "Rock n Roll".
It's sad and awful.

Instead, help someone today and let's try and give back.

Peace

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

I am truly thankful today.
I do not have a worry that cannot be fixed by some money or a little work.
That is a good feeling.
Today I have my family and my home and that is all I need.
I have my music and my friends and they are a blessing.

I have made a commitment to turn off the news and stop the frantic worry
of fear that the media wants me to believe is real, it is not.

I am limiting my access to social media and becoming more social in my community.
It is much more enjoyable to see a face and speak with a human being in physical
form than just on a screen.

In this moment, right now, I have no problems.
If I look into the past, I can find things to be angry or shameful about.
If I think about the future I can become fearful and worried.
But I do not live in the past or the future, I live only in the present,
and it is a present.
My mind is "My" mind and I control it's thinking, when I begin to think of
things that are not "Reality", I can change the thoughts immediately.
It requires discipline and practice, but it can be done.
In this moment, I am at peace.
I am at the breakfast table with my two youngest girls.
They're watching cartoons and I am reading, no worries in sight.
I can't help but think of all the people in the world that are not so safe.
They are not enjoying breakfast, they have lost loved ones to war and famine.
They deserve this peace and love as much as I do, some maybe more.

I pray for the world and those that are suffering.
I vow to love my family more today and enjoy every gift I have been given.

Today I will do my best to not speak ill of anyone, to bitch or complain
of the politics or the world I live in, I will speak only of love.
I will try to give thanks in every word I say and stay silent when I cannot.

We are so blessed to be safe and have homes and families.
Many do not.
I cannot solve the worlds problems today, but I can be thankful and enjoy my blessings
to the fullest.

Happy Thanksgiving.
I pray that you have everything you desire today.

Peace, Love, Zito

Fear and Loathing.....

Well I have a lot to write about and not sure where to start.

I want to let you know that I lost a dear friend on Sunday, Tonya Ross.
She and her husband, Doug, have been friends of mine going on 20 years.
They opened there home to me when I was down and out in Cape Girardeau, Mo.
I had nowhere to go and they brought me in and helped me the best they could.
She was a kind, sweet loving woman and is absolutely missed.

Obviously there is a lot of turmoil in the world right now and mostly made of
political rhetoric and fear based bullshit.
I am not a serious political person in public, mostly because I do not trust people.
I do have a strong opinion of what is right and what is wrong but I also remain open minded
and understanding, the latter of which I do not believe some people offer in return.
Facebook is a place for building fear and hatred and certainly not for spreading love.
But it is also a place to sell yourself, your music, your concerts, keep people informed of
your tour and stay in contact with your fans, your people.
In a way, Facebook is my business. How else can I reach people so easily and share my new music with them?  I want people to buy my new album, to come to my shows, and to support my cause.
This is my livelihood, my business. I am thankful for the opportunity to stay connected with so many folks all over the world.  But I found out early on, if I share my political beliefs or spiritual beliefs with folks on Facebook, I am excluding at least half of my people.
Not all people feel the way I do.
I do believe that everyone of my people are filled with Love, Compassion and Honesty,
but not everyone shares the same beliefs that I do. I am fine with this. Sure it makes me a little crazy once in a while,  I am certain they feel the same way about me, but I can live with it.
Some people get in there and really let me have it if I post something Political or Spiritual that they do not agree with. They begin sparring with me, and I don't like that at all.
I don't mind a good debate, but it usually gets ugly pretty quick.
Mostly, truth be told......it's bad for business.
So I have for a long time, stopped sharing my beliefs on Climate change, the President, Health Insurance, Foreign Policy and so on, because I don't want to rock the apple cart.
It's best to just stay out of it and keep quiet.
I did this for about 6 months or more and I prayed about it too. I began to feel I was part of the problem. I don't want to express my true feelings for fear of losing customers? that is the problem.
I will say, for the most part my friends that don't agree with me are very respectful. They usually just don't say anything about my post, they don't argue with me and they leave me alone. That is respect.
I try to offer the same respect in return. When I read things that I absolutely disagree with, I just let it slide, especially if it is someone I love and care about. We just don't see eye to eye on everything and that is ok.
So I decided that I am in the wrong here. It's me, not you.
My ideals are not so far left that they're completely misunderstood.
I want peace and compassion for all. That is the America I believe in and love.
Keeping that inside for fearing of not selling enough cd's is absolutely wrong, and I admit my mistake.

So I have decided to share with the world how I feel on key issues that I think about daily.
I read the news, I know right from wrong and I know when something is bullshit or real.
I do not get my news from right or left wing think tank sites, or bogus news sites that spout
fake stories to scare everyone. Fear is all over Facebook and Social Media and it's there for a reason, to take the control away from you and me and give it those who want the power.

So, I will share my feelings politically and spiritually with my world.
Selling cd's and tours is the not the most important thing in the world and making money
isn't everything. Standing up for what we believe is more important.
I also think that I discredit most of the people I know when I think I better not share my feelings
because some of them won't agree with me and stop coming to see me play.......untrue.
Most people are smart enough to know the difference between belief and love.
They know I am coming from a place of love, not hate or fear.
They also love me enough to "let it slide" when they don't agree. The few that don't will get over it.
Maybe just maybe........something good will come of all this.
That is my hope.

Peace, Love, Zito.

Happiness and Death

Wow, that's quite a title huh?
Happiness and Death, not something you would normally order
off the same menu, but what the hell, it's Monday :)

I had a nice long talk with a friend yesterday and we were both in agreement of
how we felt about our place in the world and of course it always feels good to spend
Some time with someone who is like minded.
We both agreed there is a God and believe that it is our responsibility
to follow the Spiritual Principles in our hearts.
We know right from wrong, and for each of us that might be a bit different, but mostly similar.
There is no "magic show" in the eyes of God, no tricks to be had, just the truth.
If you can live with the truth, you can do what you please, as long as you do not harm others.
Anyway......it was a nice Sunday discussion that ended well and felt good.

The bottom line is happiness and death.
We both absolutely agreed on a belief in a Higher Power, but neither of us claimed to know
The exact state of this being, or what it might look like or what gender it was,
We just agreed there was something there that we are all made of and it was pure love.
The trees, stars, moon, mountains, fish, cats, dogs, spiders, ants......man, woman, child
are all made of the same power and energy or love. We may not understand the place of everything
in this world, but that's because we are only man and we don't need to know everything and it would
be arrogant to think we could understand the makings of the Power of the Universe,
But we are connected, not separate. We are one with this Power, not apart, but a part.
The only thing we agreed to know about this life is that we will die.
After that, no living man can profess to know with any certainty what will happen.
Life after death is not of my concern, life during life is.
Which brought us to happiness.
Happiness is a state of mind, a state of well being and comfort.
In this day and age of constant social media, we are endlessly reminded to "BE HAPPY".
It is your duty, your cross to bare. Everyone MUST be happy, or else!
It seems that way, but that is not the truth.
Just as though people try to show us that Karma is some sort of revenge that the Universe uses to get back at bad people, which also is not true at all. The Power of Love knows not of revenge.
Happiness IS a personal responsibility, but not for every second of everyday in every situation.
That would not be living. Living requires anger, remorse, fear, grief, pain, suffering, laughter, hope,
Peace, ....the list goes on and on.
We are people. We are flawed by nature and life is painful at best.
We need to feel pain to find hope, anger to find resolution, grief to overcome.
Eternal happiness is knowing that we will die, and that's ok.
If we can come to terms with our own end now while we are alive, then we can take part in the life
in front of us wholeheartedly. This is our responsibility. To know that we will expire at any given moment, and accept this with peace and serenity, that is true happiness.
Once I have accepted that I do not know what life after death brings, but I believe in the Power of the Universe, I have faith that it will all be ok, I will be set free, then it is my responsibility to live the life I have now. To be faithful and honest, to love and forgive, to have hope and overcome fear.
To mourn the loss of loved ones and friends and know they have crossed over to a better place.
If we are lucky enough to have children, we have a responsibility to raise them to be good, decent members of society. To not be afraid and to have principles to live by, that is my responsibility.

If my own death does not bring about fear and anger, but peace and acceptance,
Life is easy.
If I realize I might die tomorrow, then I will do everything I can to live today,
to love today, to be happy today, to bring happiness to others.

It's a beautiful day, a beautiful life.
Thank God.

Keep Coming Back

Shameless plug.......


Actually, not so true - but yes, my new album is titled "Keep Coming Back".
Right away some people get it, some people just thinks it's catchy.
If you're not in recovery, "Keep Coming Back" is what they tell you from day one.
No matter what, Keep Coming Back.

I had never had a true success in my life until I found recovery.
It's the first thing in life I stuck with and didn't walk away from,
and at 33 years old, I walked away from a lot.

But "Keep Coming Back" is not just for those of us that are in recovery,
it's really become a motto in my life that I live by.
Don't give up, Lifes too short, Keep Coming Back.
Walter Trout told me years ago when I started my music career again, sober this time,
he said "Don't quit, if you quit, the dreams over. You're the only one that can say it's over."
I'm in charge, I am responsible for it all, I can either quit or keep trucking.

Look, we all get it, life is not for the weak of heart, it's tough,
and just think we live in an easy world without war all around us and true poverty.
Buddhist teachings suggest that life is painful at best.
The attachment to loved ones who leave us, the material world, and even just the
pain of having a human body that gets old and weak and dies.
The only remedy for this pain is a spiritual connection with a Higher Power.
Whatever that may be, getting out of my head and into the spiritual realm eases my pain of living.
BUT, I can't live on a pink cloud, or high up in the mountains,
I live down in the valley where shits going on and I have to be there, this is my life.

In a Zig Ziglar world of catch phrases that are supposed to make everything better,
Keep Coming Back has stuck with me.
It means everything.
You get knocked down, get back up and get you some more.
Cause what are you gonna do? Throw in the towel and walk away?
What kind of life is that?
Get back in there and get knocked on your ass again!

Tenacity: THE QUALITY OR FACT OF CONTINUING TO EXIST.

To make it in this world, you need tenacity.
We must continue to exist until the day we exist no more.
So we make mistakes, so we have to try again, thats what it's all about.
If I did everything right, if I had everything I wanted, and if everything
hurried up and went my way........what would I do then?
Sit around and look at how great everything is?
No, thats just not how it works, and for the few of those have experienced that
grandiosity - they usually get their heads chopped off.

Bottom line is, I am here to do my part no matter how big or small.
I'm trying to raise kids that are not a burden on society and I am trying to leave
this place a little better than it was when I got here.
I have found my purpose in life, and it's not necessarily being a musician.....
it's to be a kind, loving, caring, understanding human being.
If being a father and a husband and a musician is the path I have chosen,
then my responsibility is to be a Kind, Loving, Caring and Understanding
Father, Husband and Musician.

We are flawed. We do not do everything "right".
We make mistakes, we fall down, we walk away,
the important thing is to get back up, try again, get it right,
brush it off, stop being proud and just be me,
and absolutely, no matter what......

KEEP COMING BACK!

Normal.....

It's back to school again.
I just brought the girls to their first day.
My youngest started Kindergarten today and my oldest daughter
started high school today.
All the kids are off and running and everything is getting back to normal.
The summer is over, but it's still really hot outside....of course it's Texas.

I love routines.
They work well for me and my obsessive mind.
I did a lot of work in the late 1990's for the DOD playing concerts for the
troops overseas. I really enjoyed my time working with the Military.
I loved the strict routine.
At one point in my life I was going to join the Army Jazz band.
I was at a pretty low point in my drug abuse and living with my parents.
I needed something, anything to get me on my feet.
I had some connections I had made in the DOD and I reached out and they set
up an audition at my local recruiter.
It's a big deal, it's not easy and they only hire like one guitar player every two years.
They flew in the guy that handled auditions from the DC area and he sat down with me
and worked me through the process.
He was very happy with my audition and told me he would recommend my enlistment.
My parents were overjoyed and I thought I would finally get my shit together and
get off of drugs. I was very excited about the "Routine" life, it's what I needed badly.
I would be the first guitarist in the state of Missouri enlisting as a guitarist in the Army Jazz band
in over 20 years.  My recruiter was very excited.
I had to do my physical and basic tests in one week.
So what did I do?  I went on a 4 day bender of drugs and alcohol.
I went in on Monday morning and took the piss test, all the paperwork, physical etc.
I had a very good friend of mine ask me while we were doing drugs
"Don't you have to take a drug test in a day or two?"
I thought yeah, but it'll be fine.
Long story short.....my recruiter picked me up two weeks later to drop me off for basic training.
I had my bags packed, my parents were proud and I was on my way.
When we arrived my name was not on the list. We were called into an office where
they told me that came up VERY hot for cocaine and marijuana.
They could not accept my enrollment for two more years.
My recruiter was crushed, and I was driven back home
I told my parents that something was wrong with the paperwork, but they knew better.
It was a huge set back and very upsetting......and then within less than a year we invaded Iraq.
I was told if I had enrolled, I would have lost my guitar position and been sent off to war.
Maybe things happen for a reason.

This is just one of so many stories in my life that started out with my intention for "Normal",
for "Routine" and ended in destruction.

This is my disease. I have a need and a want for "Normal"and I have a destruction that
wants to tear it all apart. It's so conflicting and so crazy.
I have always been my own worst enemy and for years I had no idea what was going on.
Luckily I found a program that helped me to change my way of thinking and gave me tools
to deal with my own disfunction, I also have a strong relationship with my Higher Power today.

That sabotage in my mind is much better these days.
I have learned from my mistakes, Thank God, and I make better choices today.
I have finally found the joy in "Routine" with my family, my music and my spiritual life.
Words like "Routine" and "Normal" seem horrible to many people, maybe they take it for granted.
I love new experiences, I am always for trying something new and mixing it up......
but I love the joy of being normal these days.
I go to bed early, I make my coffee every morning, I practice my guitar, we eat dinner as a family.....

Today I am thankful for normalcy, for routine.
I am also thankful for the ways things worked out in my life, even when I thought I was being let down....everything happens for a reason, even if I don't know why.
I am and have always been looked out for by my Higher Power,
for that I am grateful.