Tommy Lund, my brother

Well.......

I usually use this blog to share my feelings and thoughts about living clean and sober
in the weird world of rock n roll......

But, today I will share my feelings and story with you about my dear friend, Tommy Lund.

Tommy Lund was a very close friend of mine and many in this world that has left us too soon.

   I met Tommy in 2009 while on tour in Europe. Our first meeting was at a club in Holland.
He was very nice and excited and gave me his card. He had taken pictures and offered to send me
the images in an email.  I met Tommy again in 2010 at the Moulin Blues Fest in Holland.
This time I knew who he was and he came back stage before the show. We spoke about music and
such and really hit it off. He was very excited about me, my band and my music.
He offered to help me in anyway possible with building my career in Europe.
He told me he wrote for Bluesnews in Norway (where he is originally from) as well as other mags and online websites devoted to blues in Europe. He was also a tremendous photographer and always
had his camera with him to capture the shows.  We began to stay in touch regularly online through
email and of course, Facebook.  Every trip I made to Europe, Tommy found a way to get to a show and take pictures and write about the show or my new albums.
It didn't take long for Tommy and I to become fast friends, not because he was offering to help me,
but because we shared an awful lot in common.  I was very happy that Tommy had taken an interest
in helping me with my career, very grateful, but very happy to have a new, real friend.
It is not easy to make friends later in life, you know what I mean.
With family, work and such, you really don't get much time to find new friends and seek out
people with similar interests, that is for the young.

I am not always a good friend. I am so busy with my touring and writing and 5 children, I do not
always reach out to people or take time to ask how they are doing. I forget to write people back, call people back and that rubs some folks the wrong way. I understand.  I just don't have as much time as I wish I had for a vibrant social life.  Tommy was the kind of friend, who understood and didn't really care about all of that. He would work past my shit and keep plugging along in our friendship.

Within a year or so, I was talking with Tommy everyday, every week, via Facebook, Skype, text, emails, you name it!  We loved a lot of the same music and he had a wide appetite for the arts.
We both agreed that "reality" in art was most moving and really appreciated the artists that didn't hold back. The ones that shared it all and were themselves, not trying to put on a facade.
We quoted Bruce Springsteen to each other and lines from 80's movies.
Before I knew it, I had a new brother in life.

He really jumped into my career and took over posting on Facebook for me and starting my fan club,
"Zito Nation" with my good friend Joan.  The two of them became a force and worked together
night and day to promote my music and new albums and endeavors.
Tommy continued to attend any european tours he could and promote me like crazy.
The BEST photo's I have of me performing live are from Tommy Lund.
Tommy's photo of me at Moulin Blues became the photo of the Blues Music Award Nomination and Win in 2010 for "Pearl River".  It was also the Fender Musical Instruments photo on their artist website.
He got great shots of RSB and of me performing with Warren Haynes.
All of this time over the past 5 years, we spoke everyday in one form or another.
We joked, teased, laughed, argued (not really) and dreamed together.
Tommy had this belief in me and in my music that I don't think I had.
He convinced me that what I was doing was worthwhile and necessary.  He encouraged me
to let it all out.  Every time I thought I was sharing enough with the world, Tommy told me I was holding back and needed to share more.  He got me to believe in myself in the biggest way.
He saw something in me that I did not see in myself and he made me a believer.

But Tommy did not just do this for me....... he did this for many, many great artists.
He was a TRUE BELIEVER.  He saw through the shit and found the diamonds.
He promoted many new and unknown artists.  He lived for turning people onto new music,
new art.  He was a gentle, kind, sweet, warm and funny man who wanted world peace.
He pointed out when the world was wrong politically, racially, ethically and stood his ground.
He believed in the power of music and he was my friend.

Tommy was not well this past year.
His back was really hurting him and he had to stay in bed or laying down for quite a while.
He had a hard time walking or getting out and it really bothered him.
He couldn't get out to the shows like he wanted to, so instead he worked harder online,
bugging the shit out of me everyday!!!   I miss that.....

We spoke so much that I took for granted our relationship. It would last for a long time I believed.
He was one of maybe 5 people that I spoke with everyday for the past 5 years.

The last I spoke with Tommy was on February 10, 2014.
Ironically that is 2/10 - 210 is a song I wrote that I have never recorded for fear that it was too personal,
but Tommy LOVED and BEGGED me to put it out someday, now I guess I have to :)

He sounded weak. He told me his back was really bad and needed to stay in bed for months.
We laughed at how much that sucked and he said he would get through it.
We made plans for him to come on tour with me in the fall in Europe.
He was sweet and said he would get better soon. We laughed and said goodbye.....

I received a message on Sunday Feb 16th in the evening that Tommy Lund had passed away.
I was in shock and total disbelief......and then it hit me
He had not sent me a message in days, he had not texted me or called me. He had not posted
anything online.......thats when I knew it was true.

Tommy Lund left us the week of February 10-16th. He died in his sleep.
It was of natural causes.  He is being cremated and brought back to Norway to be buried with
his grandfather, his hero.

Tommy was my same age.
He was funny and vibrant and strong.
He was a true believer in life and in music and the arts.
We laughed a lot, and he believed in me.
He encouraged me and promoted me.
He pushed through my wall and got very close to my heart.
We made plans to rule the world.
He was my friend and I miss him.

Tommy would not want us to cry or be sad.
He would want us to celebrate life, listen to music and especially take time
to appreciate the lyrics. Seek out art in all forms and encourage others.


God bless your soul my brother. I know you are at peace in the warmth of the Spirit.

Please take time to look at Tommy's personal photography and writings:

http://tommylund.eu/

Confirmation

Happy 2014 to all of my friends out there!

We made it and we should be so lucky :)

This year has taken off with a bang. So much to do, so much traveling already and

plenty of work ahead.  All of this is great and I am very grateful for my gift to work

and take care of my family, but sometimes it's just one day after another - hurry hurry hurry,

try to keep it all in line - balancing a checkbook, picking the kids up from school, getting the bills paid,

feeding the animals, getting to the gigs on time and keeping the schedule organized.....

I am sure you all know what I am talking about.

Sometimes I need a confirmation of all things good and amazing in my life.

Maybe I should say - reconfirmation - but it seems as though every new confirmation really

seems to supersede the last one and bring about even more awareness.

Fear usually brings this confirmation around.

I step into a fearful situation, which is usually not fearful at all, but from my past experience

has caused me pain and suffering and I immediately expect the same experience.

But why would it be the same experience? I am no longer the person I used to be and things

have changed. If  I have truly forgiven myself for any of my wrong doings, then I have nothing

to be fearful of - especially if I have practiced the principles in all of my affairs.

Once I examine my feelings of fear and find that they are the same deep rooted feelings based

in old shame and remorse, I begin to forgive myself all over again.

I don't have to feel this way anymore.

But my mental illness always looks for a way to beat me up and beat me down so I will start

feeling sorry for myself and possibly consider taking a drink again. This disease is cunning, baffling

and POWERFUL!

The next step for me is to call my sponsor, read some literature, go to a meeting and ultimately

deal with my fear head on and take care of business. In the meantime I learn, yet again, that I am a child of the Universe and I have a right to be here, just as the mountains and the stars above.

I need to learn to be nice to myself.  Stop judging myself so hard and give myself a break.

I am doing the best I can, and that is all I can do.

Once this feeling of true love comes over me, I start to see the world as beautiful all over again.

We are here for such a short period of time, it will all be over soon.

Every word and every breath should count. I start to take notice of every detail and more from the

observers view and not my judgmental ego.  

The observers view is the greatest feeling in the world. To let go of myself and become a part,

rather than apart.
A new confirmation is necessary from time to time, to keep me grounded in my spirituality.

It's all a process and soon I will leave this mountain and come back to the valley where the work is needed to be done......but for now, life is beautiful.

Peace, Love, Zito

Truly Thankful

It has been a while since I have blogged and I have been wanting to do so badly,
but I have been so fortunate to be busy working, so it's been hard to get a minute to reflect.
Of course, with the end of the year, comes naturally a feeling of looking back.

I hope we can all look back on this year and have fond memories, but that may not be so
for everyone. Life is hard and then you die........says Johnny Winter.

I have had such a wonderful year and for that I am grateful.
RSB had the best year yet, touring all over the world to wonderful audiences.
We traveled to Australia, Europe, opened for Gregg Allman, played the Wanee Festival,
played at the Notodden festival and rocked the Blues Music Awards, we ended the year
by recording our second studio album.
Mike Zito and The Wheel was born in 2013, recording and releasing our debut cd and getting
some great tours in and around RSB.
We were so humbly honored this week to be nominated for Blues Music Awards.
All in all,  a fantastic year, with so much that has happened, I cannot remember it all.

I was gone too long this year from my family. I missed my children and my wife.
I didn't get to play with my kids enough or watch them grow. I feel some regret
when I think of how much I was gone. I know it;s all for the best in the long run,
but that is time that I will never get back. I look forward to having more time for my family
in 2014.  But, I became closer with my bandmates and my friends on the road.
I made new friends at shows all over the world. I spent time with people and got to really
know them well this year. I celebrated 10 years in recovery and performed at a huge recovery
convention with RSB. My good friend Tom spent the day with me and Charlie, it was great.

My dear friend Joan made me an amazing video for Gone to Texas, with all of my friends and fans
showing their Gone to Texas signs. My main man, Tommy created my first ever online fan club
website, Zito Nation......   I have a fan club! who would have thought :)
Scott and Kelly sent my wife flowers when she needed them to brighten her day.
People got involved personally with our business this year and really helped us get kicking!


Listen, I could go on and on about all the wonderful things that happened this year,
but it's not the point to brag or show off, it's to look back and say thank you.
I missed my family so much this year, it hurt......but you, YES YOU - my friends
that were at every gig, that called me, emailed me, facebooked me, sent me messages
to show your love, friendship, appreciation. You went out of your way big time to show me love,
and for THAT I am truly thankful.
I could not have gotten through this year without you, Laura and my children either.
We are so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives.

Finally I am over the moon for my wife, Laura. She is my rock.
She makes our house a home, and takes such good care of my girls.
She has stood by my side through thick and thin and never lets me down.
Our marriage is a dream come true and this year was not easy, but we made it through
by helping each other and loving unconditionally.
The mothers of my children are also hero's in my life. It's not easy raising kids and I am
not there nearly enough to help anyone being on the road so much, but they continue to
be strong and raise these kids of ours to be wonderful, loving children and I am so thankful.

Life is not easy, but it's worth living when you've got family and friends to live it with.
Rich or poor doesn't really matter to me, although life can be much easier when you've got a
few bucks, but it won't make you happy. Happiness is found in embracing the imperfection
of life. Rolling with the punches and making a gratitude list once in a while, which I believe I just did with you, right here :)

Thank you all again for a great year and for all the love - let's do it again next year!!!!
Peace, Love, Zito

Absurdly Lucky

Yes, I am truly grateful.
I really don't have anything to complain about and my life just keeps getting better.
It's been a special time for me recently as I am celebrating a milestone in my recovery.
I am so thankful to all of my friends for all of the love and support.
Everywhere I go, I have friends there waiting for me.
They bake me cookies (I'm getting FAT!!!), they take me dinner, they bring their children to the shows,
and most of all, they come to see me and spend time with me and I am so blessed.
RSB just finished a week at sea on the Blues Cruise.
It was such a good time. I am a fan of the performers and the musicians and it's so fun for me
to hangout with the people I admire and love. Best of all, my oldest son Zach was able to come
with me this year on the cruise. He is 18 and a freshmen in college.
He is a tremendous guitar player and is very much into the blues. I don't get to see Zach everyday as he
goes to school and lives in another state, so it's a big deal to just get a week with him, let alone
being on the cruise together. We had such an amazing time. We obviously enjoyed playing the shows
with RSB, but also going to all of the jams and getting up together and playing.
Zach also took the stage over at one point without me and played with Cyril Neville,
Tommy Castro, Sam Fish and Albert Castiglia. It was a very proud moment for me.
There was a time when I couldn't really see Zach. I was so bad off in my addiction, I couldn't
ever keep my commitments to pick him up and spend time with him, I wanted to,
but I couldn't stop using.  It ended with me not being able to really see Zach at all
and he was old enough to know something was wrong. I know he was very hurt by my addiction.
Luckily for me and my family, I found the programs of recovery and my life
has been changed forever. I look back at this short period of time I have invested in recovery
and how much my life has changed and how just a few years later I am with my son on the Blues Cruise playing music together and being so close - it's truly a miracle.
Recovery is available to anyone. I am not special or unique, I have just followed the rules.
For the first time in my life, I followed the rules.
I do believe this new lease on life is a miracle, but I never want it to seem to those who are constantly
struggling that they are not miracle worthy, or that God loves me more.
That's not true. Recovery is available to us all. I heard it said recently from a good friend that we
are "absurdly lucky". The odds are against me and yet I have beaten the odds.
By no means of rational mathematics should I be alive today. I should be dead.
I cannot explain to you how I am alive, other than an other worldly intervention.
When I see others struggling along the way, fighting the awful fight of addiction, I feel for them.
It is a pitiful existence and I have so much empathy. That could so easily be me, and was me.
But thank God it's not me today, and for that I am truly grateful.
I believe when we decide in our hearts that we have had enough and want to change, God will
line everything up to help us break the cycle. Surrender is all we need to make a change.
So, looking back at the misery and strife I caused myself and my family and seeing the
Sunlight of Spirit all around me today, in everything I do - I believe I am Absurdly Lucky.
I thank God for my life and those who share it with me, that means you too!
To spend time with my children and see a beautiful relationship rather than disconnect and hurt,
is a miracle.  I call them on the phone, I take them on vacations, I make them breakfast, tuck
them in their beds.....might seem normal and usual to most of you, but to me it is a miracle.
So I will continue to trudge the road of happy destiny. It's all that I have and all that I need.
And I thank God for my clean and sober life.
Peace, Love, Zito

Crazy People All Around Me.......

Well, it's been said that difficult people are a blessing in our lives.
I've read that in literature and in Buddhism books.
When we have adverse situations or people around we have to look at them
as an opportunity to grow spiritually.
We never seem to learn much when things are going well and we don't have
any real problems. Those are the times when we enjoy the peace and the pink cloud.
But nothing lasts forever and somewhere around the proverbial corner is a HUGE
pain in the ass just waiting to teach us a lesson or two :)
If we are trying to live by spiritual principles and get better everyday, we have to look
at our own behavior when dealing with difficult people/situations.
What is it about this person that is rubbing me the wrong way?
They are self centered, selfish, egotistical, obnoxious, mean, clueless.......
wow, those are all the things I used to be and some I still am.
In fact, this person is what I am hoping to not be like at all.
They're reminding me of my own character defects and I do not like that one bit.
You spot it if you got it, and I believe that to a tee.
When someone's personality is just plain killing me I realize I have some more work to do.
When I cannot forgive them for being human, I probably need to learn to forgive myself.
When a painful situation arises, it's time to start praying and meditating and find the peace within.
The difference between today and my past is my reaction.
In the past I would never consider praying as an alternative to hating someone.
I would never think I need to meditate on this situation for a while before I make a judgment....
are you kidding me????
I'd just jump right in and stir the shit pot with them, probably even harder just to prove
I'm a bigger pain in the ass than they are!
When a situation or person would come along and make things all real and uncomfortable
I would immediately get to drinking and using to deal with it, and when that turned into a full
blown bender, I'd blame them for my misfortunate decisions.
Even if I am past using, I would still argue and fight and yell and say and do things I would regret.
I would cause more trouble for myself than the original person or situation posed at all.
So, if I am trying to live by spiritual principles today, I have to hold off on my feelings
and breathe and process it all before I make a move.
Sometimes, I misread the situation.  Sometimes, the person isn't really doing anything wrong,
I just can't stand their personality.  Sad but true.
So, I go to another person I know and trust and run my feelings by them and see if they are justified.
Am I feeling this correctly, or am I letting my ego get involved here?
This is all new to me and my way of living.  Thinking about what I'm thinking about is a totally
new concept for me when I arrive in recovery.  It takes years to develop this skill and train myself
to work in such a new found way.
But, I can promise you that it is a huge payoff for the world around me and especially ME!
Since I am self centered at my core, it appeals to my inner sanctum that this training and process will help me the most! I will greatly benefit  from learning to deal with life and people in this manner.
Eventually I begin to see the "opportunity" in difficult people and adverse situations.
Like "Wow this guy is an asshole.......I'm gonna learn a LOT from him!"
It's life on life's terms and it's just the way it is.....
I can fight for the rest of my life or I can surrender and make the most of it all.
I am so fortunate today, without all of my using and drinking, most of the adversity in my life
has been removed.  I still deal with life like anyone else and I have people that seem to make their
way in and stir up old feelings of resentments or new people that I have to learn to deal with
on a whole new level, but for the most part my life is pretty damn easy.
Mostly due to the fact that I have learned to apply the spiritual principles to everyday living.
I do not react today, at least not externally :)
I'm not perfect, but I'm trying.
I immediately know to do the right thing and I know what the right thing is to do,
and if I am just not quite sure of my choice I have numerous friends I can call and
do some fact checking for me.  Like all successful people ie: Presidents, CEO's, General's -
I have people I trust to help me make the tough decisions.
I enjoy the peaceful life today and I seek it in every turn possible.
When adversity comes along, I meet it head on and deal with it right away.
The sooner the better, because nothing lasts forever and this too shall pass.....
so let's get to passing please :)

Peace, Love, Zito

A Dream Come True

What a day I had yesterday......

Sometimes in life, everything just falls into place. The stars align and you go for the ride of a lifetime.
It takes years to add it all up and in a greater time frame than I can ever imagine.
That is the experience I had yesterday in Philadelphia.

We play a lot of shows out here on the road. Mostly in Clubs, Theaters and such.
Sometimes, lately in RSB, we get to play some very cool venues.
Yesterday we played at the Philadelphia Convention Center.
It was a BIG room, with big sound and stage and lighting, very cool indeed.
Still, their was so much more to this show that made it the gig of my life.

I met my friend Steve in 2007 playing with Bugs Henderson in Texas.
Steve and I share a common struggle and belief in a recovery program together.
Steve is an avid music lover and promoter and puts on events in Texas.
We became friends and began working together.  I played many bike rally's and corporate
type events over the years for Steve. He is always thinking of me when he puts events together,
and how he can help get me and my music in front of the folks.
Steve came and saw RSB in January at Austin City Limits Live with Gregg Allman.
He loved the band!  Thats when the ball began to roll......

Royal Southern Brotherhood performed at the 35th World Convention (Of a Recovery Program that saved my life) yesterday in Philadelphia, Pa. for 3000 screaming addicts and alcoholics.
It was a dream come true for me.  The crowd was inspiring to say the least.

It was an early day for the band after a late night.  We had an 8:30am load in and the gig
was at 1pm. These are not musicians hours :)
The guys in the band were awesome and respectful and knew this meant a lot to me.
But that being said, I don't know if they considered this to be much of a gig.
A show during the day, recovering addicts.....sounds kind of dull.
But I knew that this would be the best gig ever.  These are my people, and they are wild.
No one has more fun than people in recovery. They get high off the music, the vibe, the
spirituality of the experience.
We hit the stage and began rocking. They were digging it from the first note.
About 4 tunes into the set, I was to sing "Gone to Texas".
I knew I had to do it, so I walked to the mic and said loud and proud
"My name is Mike and I'm an Addict."  The screams were ferocious!!! They leapt to their feet....
"I'm from the Wings of Freedom group in Nederland, Texas"  More screams, even louder now.
I gave my clean date and told them what an honor and a privilege it was to be there playing music for them and with the Royal Southern Brotherhood, and then we played "Gone to Texas".
Women screamed and howled, huge grown men cried in front of the stage. I swear I saw a woman faint into her chair!!!  The lights were divine and it felt like heaven. It took everything I had to hold back losing it and just crying in front of the audience, but I made it through with the help of the band
and we rocked that song like never before. Standing ovations all around the room. Cheers and Hoots and Hollers filled the room. The energy was uncontainable....mesmerizing.
Immediately we went into Fire on the Mountain and everyone got up and rushed the stage.
For the rest of the hour, 1000 people stood in front of the stage hanging on every note that was played.
They screamed so loud at times, we couldn't hear ourselves. The band smiled relentlessly, it was never ending.  We finished with "One Way Out" and walked off to screams and chants so loud, we had to walk right back onstage. I walked up to the mic and said "So what you're saying is KEEP COMING BACK!"
THEY WENT CRAZY!!!!!!!!! They began chanting - KEEP COMING BACK, KEEP COMING BACK!!!!!!
The band launched into "Gimme Shelter" and the roof was officially raised.
Cyril and Devon took off to the front rocking, Charlie and Yonrico laid down the baddest groove ever.
I just stood their for a brief moment and took it all in......
10 years ago, I did not own a guitar. I had pawned them all for drug money.
I did not have a home, could not see my kids.....I was hopeless.
I began my recovery journey and thought I would never play music again. I will never be able to be around alcohol or places or people in the music world anymore.
I accepted that fact and moved forward because I knew I was killing myself and I had had enough.
If I had to live without playing music but live clean and sober, so be it.
10 years later I am playing with the Royal Southern Brotherhood in front of 3000 screaming drug addicts at the World Convention........UNREAL.
God is good and life is weird. You never know whats coming up, but when you're  living right and doing the next right thing, anything is possible.
Charlie and I stayed after the show and hung out at the convention.
We met up with my friend Tom and tried to see some of the workshops and meetings, but we never got further than the hallway. People stopped us and wanted pictures, autographs, and hugs....lots of hugs.
We stood in that hallway for over an hour hugging people, from all over the world.
It was so amazing and wonderful and I was and still am in awe. It almost feels like a dream.
It certainly was a dream come true and I know in my heart that I am forever grateful. I am so grateful to the program that saved my life, gave me a real life, and brought my family and music
together.  I am thankful to RSB for being a class act and really showing those addicts a good time.
This was the best gig of my life, I can't imagine any other show topping this...
Peace, Love, Zito

Nothing changes, if nothing changes....

"Well my mind's been going through them changes...."

The Buddy Miles song always hits me when I even hear the word "change".
I love that song!

Change is such a strange word and concept to analyze.
It's so simple and yet so extremely complicated at the same time. Mostly due to the nature
of what we are trying to change.  It's obviously very easy to "change" clothes for an appropriate
occasion, or change direction on the road to get to where we are going in a car.
Those are just two very simple easily changeable situations in life.
I know we could list a million. Then, we get to the deeper version of change with things
like personality traits, character defects, complete ways of thinking......WHOA
these are not so easy, yet they are exactly the same.

Example:  We are driving to New Orleans. We have never been there before.
We hit the road and head in what we think is the right direction, but we are going the wrong way.
Someone tells us, we need to turn around and head the other way to get there.
So, we trust them, they have been there before, we have not.......
We turn the car around and head in the right direction. End of story :)

Now, some of us would think we know it all and we don't need to ask for directions.
We would just continue driving in the wrong direction, rather than admit we were wrong.
This is a very common character defect. We know it all, we don't need any help.

Obviously you can see where I am going with this. Many of us ,in life, believe we don't need help.
We know it all, and thank you very much, but we'll continue down the wrong path....just because.
"Hard Headed" is what my mother would call that, yours probably as well.
But it's much deeper than that simple analogy. A lot of this comes from life long "Conditioning".
We were born into a family/situation with certain beliefs and customs in a country that lives and eats and works a certain way. We may have had shitty parents, wonderful parents, no parents. We might have been beat up everyday, molested, made fun of.....the list goes on.
Most of us do not reach the age of 25 without believing what was taught to us by the people before us.
We rarely make decisions, based on our own actual experiences, to justify our beliefs in God,
Politics, Love, Life etc....
It was handed down from the generation before us and they got theirs from the one before them.

I am sure I am just laying out some very simple, common facts about the condition of life that we are all aware of. My point is, it's very difficult to "change" this conditioning. Some of it is very good and
what makes us who we are, helped to build our character. To carry on traditions from our heritage.
Change is also a very frightening experience. As human beings, we are afraid of change.
We want everything to be the same, all of the time. We are creatures of habit, good or bad.
There is never any real need for "change" until we begin to hit the proverbial brick wall.
When things start to get painful, we consider the need for change.
And only when they get down right awful, do we actually do the work needed to bring about
a real change.
My drinking became a huge problem in my life. People told me I had a problem well before I
ever accepted it. Loved ones, friends, stopped me along the way and told me I was going in the wrong direction, but I did not believe them, and eventually when I did believe them, I just didn't care.
I knew I was heading in the wrong direction and that was fine with me.
Not until I suffered enough pain and misery was I willing to consider another way.
and that was just the beginning.....

I learned that in order to learn how to quit drinking, I would have to change one thing: Everything.
How I talked, how I walked, what I thought, everything must go.
I had to be willing to give myself up and start over in life. I had to come to an understanding that
everything I had believed could be wrong. That is the biggest pill to swallow.
It is the ultimate ego deflator. I had to learn to turn over all of my thinking and actions to a Higher Power. I would no longer exercise my will, I would follow the will of God....
...or to the best of my ability :)
Cause believe me, it's a life long struggle to do this work. It's a daily, repetitive, exercise.
Also, it's not always such a quick change. When I stopped drinking, immediately their were beneficial
results. The same when I stopped doing drugs and stopped smoking.
I had immediate positive results when I began to make a real effort to not lie anymore.
I can't say I have been 100% successful, but I am much better today.
But some of the real changes took place over long periods of time, and for an alcoholic mind
that is not an easy thing to deal with. I want it all, right now. I never want to wait for anything.
But I have learned to achieve some of these long term changes by practicing spiritual principles
in my life: Patience, Tolerance, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Honesty.....the list goes on.
The long term changes are the most worthwhile. Nothing comes easy in this world, and when it does,
it's not worth much at all.
The idea that today I can stay calm in the midst of the storm, I can be peaceful and not react to
difficult situations, I can accept life as it is on a daily basis and be thankful.....is a pure miracle.
These are the changes that require trust in a Power greater than myself.

Nothing changes, if nothing changes: bottom line.
In order to quit smoking, you have to actually: Not smoke anymore.
The same goes for every character defect: If I don't want people to call me a liar - I have to tell the truth.
If I want to get better at something, I have to practice.  I can't just "will it" to happen.
Life does not work like that here on planet Earth.  God provides me the opportunities and I have the choice to do the work necessary or not, it's up to me.

I am truly thankful for the changes in my life today. I look forward to new changes and new directions.
I am no longer afraid of change, I accept it and embrace it. Something new is coming and it
will be wonderful if I am ready, wiling and able to participate.
Peace, Love....Zito